April 17th I had the chance to see Pastor Darius Brooks in person….and when I tell you wow! I mean wow! It wasn't even that his discussion was oh so biblical, but more so just "real" and "the truth." One of his many topics discussed was how many of us, including myself, tend to spend our time around people who tolerate us, and not those who actually celebrate us! How many of you can name a person you are around that you feel tolerated by? It's such a huge difference. And on the inside you know you're only being tolerated, but your self-esteem is so low you stick around to get their approval. This happens in friendships, on the job, in relationships, and even at church. You've gained weight, and therefore he tolerates your weight gain instead of actually loving you regardless, or even taking a walk around the track with you. The job can't find someone else they prefer to work for them, because they're judgmental of you for whatever reason so they tolerate you until they can find someone else to do it, just to do it too, not even better. You have friends who will smile all in your face, talk down to you on a regular basis, and then talk bad about you as soon as you turn your back.
Why is it that if we know that God can take us, and accept us for exactly who we are, do we allow someone who is just as "un" flawless as we are, run our lives? Constantly, talking about what you aren't doing right; constantly talking about how you live your life; yet never taking a moment to actually look themselves in the mirror and make an actual judgment. But then who can we actually be upset with? The one running the show or the one who is constantly trying to be something or someone their not in order to fit into what someone else thinks is right! Because let me tell you something, if they didn't like you before the changes you made, they definitely will not like you when they feel you are trying to be them. It's like watching the movie, "Mean Girls," when Lindsay Lohan first hit the scene (and seriously…look at her now). The girls in that movie were so insecure, they either were controlling because they feared being no one, or they were controlled because they feared being no one! Since when did God place us here to be defined by man?
I always felt that those people, who keep people around them that they simply tolerate, are keeping people around them so they can feel better about themselves. I mean because why would you want to hang out with someone when you don't necessarily agree with how they are living their life? It's to entertain you; give you someone to laugh at;they're more than likely always there to be at your beck and call; you can use them for something; and them idolizing you, makes you feel better about who you actually are. So many people have qualities, yet when we tolerate people, we never truly take the chance to see the God given abilities He has placed inside that person. Because He's given every one of us a gift. You get so caught up in "right now" instead of who you are and what you stand for, and what you know you can do, you forget about the Kingdom child inside you! This is relevant for friendships as well as relationships. You become someone you're not to satisfy your partner because you're afraid of being alone. The talents you sought after and embraced before become non-existent as your self-esteem deteriorates. God does not tolerate us, but celebrates everything He has given us, why would you let "man" who is less than God take that away from you?
When you begin to live for yourself; and stop living for what everyone else thinks, wants, and wants you to be, then you will find true happiness; and it is then that God will truly bless you. Elevation in anything means sometimes you are going to have to leave some folks behind! Suck it up! Be strong and remember if no one else has your back, you yourself should! The only way you will be able to be around people who celebrate you, is if you can find people who are actually satisfied, and happy enough with themselves to embrace you! And you have to be the same! Hang with people who are "on what you are on!" If you are happy, hang with happy people! If you are faithful, you have to hang with faithful people! If you are God driven, then hang around people who have that relationship with God! If you don't hang out with them, they will be alright…I guarantee. Lastly, in order to be celebrated, you have to first celebrate you!