Sinking Boat

God does not like Ugly. We must remember that we will pay for the decisions we make. Every decision has a consequence. You "reap what you sow" and all that mess you were talking about when it seemed as if it was gettin' good, goin' good, or feelin' good, will eventually end the same way it began. This is in no way a rant or fight for or against anyone or anything in particular…the truth is the truth…and always will be. It is in our nature to want so many things and want so much; drive and passion are incredible assets, but if you're willing to do anything to get it, you cannot expect the results to be glamorous. We've all done our dirt, not stating that anyone is perfect, but what goes around comes around so be careful.

What's scarier is that some people create their own warped worlds in which they go through all types of steps to justify their wrongs and make them seem right. They create a world that makes others believe them too, and that's even worse. Don't allow someone to present the shiniest apple to you; don't allow someone dressed up in glitz and glam to send you off, because snakes come in every brand, every complexion, and from every angle and direction. As for me, I am far from perfect. I've had my infidel moments where I went for what I wanted, and could care less about what I did not need. I cheated and hurt people's feelings and I learned nothing at all good comes from that. I had convinced myself that it was what I deserved because I was unhappy with my situation; so if anyone found out, it didn't matter, but two wrongs do not make a right. Because in the end I've watched it done to me, and though it didn't feel good, I have to continue to tell myself if they don't fix their mindset, nothing good will come of it.

I've watched people lie to my face; complain about flaws that I openly shared, but hide theirs…and we must remember whatever is done in the dark comes to light. So as the "hidden" flaws unravel I began to see the ugly that lay inside. I watched as they judged other people about their misdoings; dog them out for mistakes made and pretend all they do is perfect; call them weak for sticking around in a tough relationship; talk about other people and how "unholy" they were, but then chase after men and friends who could care less about them; take the blame in relationships that failed though abusive; then cover and lie for them so no one would know, even though the truth was evident: they had been used, talked about, lied to, cheated on, abused…so what confuses me…is how they can have all this damaged goods surrounding them, know how it feels to be stepped on, but then openly and sarcastically do it to others. People at church; people at work; people who are called friends. There's something weak and sickening about that at the same time. It's crazy how you can watch as they push away the individuals that truly love them to protect people that don't give a damn.

Men and women in these situations won't be tolerated by me and the twilight zone has them so confused at the end…there's nothing you can say; nothing you can do, but let them live their lives in cover ups, denial, manipulation, and lies. You can only pray that one day they will wake up from their spell, and be different, but until then if you become the friend of one you will definitely be the target. Because misery loves company; they love to bring people down to their level; they're hypocrites who will shun you for one act of sin, but then do something else and make an excuse for it. They are, under all those layers of BULL, unhappy. They're in a sinking boat…don't drown with them.

Sincerely,

~Esynaj~